"Google Romance is a place where you can post all types of romantic information and, using our Soulmate Search, get back search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then we'll send you both on a Contextual Date, which we'll pay for while delivering to you relevant ads that we and our advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you're looking for."Nothing says romance like Contextual and Relevant Ads, does it? All you have to do is this:
You'll also want to take the Google Romance Tour, where User B "uploads several wildly divergent profiles", uses the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button to find a soulmate, and "inadvertently reveals that he's full of himself."
- "Upload your profile-tell the world who you are, or, more to the point, who you'd like to think you are, or, even more to the point, who you want others to think you are.
- Search for love in all (or at least a statistically significant majority of) the right places with Soulmate Search, our eerily effective psychographic matchmaking software.
- Endure, via our Contextual Dating option, thematically appropriate multimedia advertising throughout the entirety of your free date."
Now, if for some reason you don't like what Google Romance comes up with for you, you can file a Google Romance complaint. For some reason however, I got a 404 error page - you'll probably want to check yourself, just to make sure.
In addition, more information about Google Romance from the press release:
""Our internal projections say Contextual Dating is going to be unbelievably huge, just a total cash cow," said Google CEO Eric Schmidt in prepared remarks placed into the notes section of an executive PowerPoint presentation and intended solely for internal use but promptly leaked onto the web and then roundly mocked on Digg and Slashdot."And the Google Romance FAQ include answers to questions such as "What if I don't want to see the ads?" (don't use the product), and the answer to why Google Romance is still in beta:
" What do you mean when you ask us what we mean when we say Google Romance is a beta product? It is what is it, okay? It's new, it's probably still buggy, which is to say that yes, by using this product now you conceivably are setting yourself up for a disastrous outcome-but on the other hand, you might also be on the verge of thrilling to an experience that will transform your very existence and only could have come about because you took this step, right here, right now. You're online; take a chance. We may never pass this way again. Carpe diem. The world could, like, end tomorrow, you know? Gather ye rosebuds while --"
More Google Foolishness: Okay, if you haven't guessed it by now, this was a JOKE. If you'd like to take a look at past Google April Fool's Day jokes, here you go:
- Google Gulp: "We're pleased to announce Google Gulp (BETA) with Auto-Drink (LIMITED RELEASE), a line of "smart drinks" designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty."
- Google Copernicus Center is hiring: "Google is interviewing candidates for engineering positions at our lunar hosting and research center, opening late in the spring of 2007. This unique opportunity is available only to highly-qualified individuals who are willing to relocate for an extended period of time, are in top physical condition and are capable of surviving with limited access to such modern conveniences as soy low-fat lattes, The Sopranos and a steady supply of oxygen."
- PigeonRank: "By collecting flocks of pigeons in dense clusters, Google is able to process search queries at speeds superior to traditional search engines, which typically rely on birds of prey, brooding hens or slow-moving waterfowl to do their relevance rankings."
- MentalPlex: "Peer into MentalPlex circle. DO NOT MOVE YOUR HEAD."